The Sweet Revenge of a Broken Heart

Have you experienced to love and get dumped? It hurts, isn’t it? But your life never ends there. As saying goes, “Move on and get over it”. So easy to say but so hard to do but if you’ll try, there’s nothing to lose. Have you ever asked yourself if how many times you’ve been in love? In that instance, how sure are you that the love you’ve felt is really a true love? According to psychology, there are kinds or types of love:

 Eros is romantic, passionate, love—what Tennov labeled limerence. In this type of relationship, love is life's most important thing. Lee said a search for physical beauty or an ideal type also typifies this type of love.

Ludus is a game-playing or uncommitted love. Lying is part of the game. A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.

Storge (STORE-gay) is a slow developing, friendship-based loved. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate.

Pragma is a pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship. It may be somewhat unromantic. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children, if they are desired.

Mania is an obsessive or possessive love, jealous and extreme. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly, such as stalking. The movie Fatal Attraction was about this type.

Agape (a-GOP-aye) is a gentle, caring, giving type of love, brotherly love, not concerned with the self. It is relatively rare. Mother Theresa showed this kind of love for impoverished people.

 Now, you can answer the questions above. In which type of love to your partner did you fall? Now, let’s go to “moving on”. I know that it’s tough to move on but it’s a process. I have some tips on how to move on from a heart break. Here are some:

1. Go through it, not around it.

2. Detach and revel in your independence again.

3. List your strengths.

4. Allow some fantasizing.

5. Help someone else.

6. Laugh. And cry.

7. Make a good and bad list.

8. Work it out.

9. Create a new world.

10. Find hope.

No matter what we do, we cannot avoid the existence of love. It’s sweet to love, yes, but painful to be fooled, yes again. But they say that you will never know you’ve loved if you don’t go through the painful moments of it. Just enjoy and do whatever makes you happy. Let the one who broke your heart see you as a brand new person. For the girls out there, be beautiful for him to regret that he left you. Stay pretty and happy!

Meeting Different People With Different Personalities

                         


                 From the time we were born until now, we meet different people. From our family or relatives to friends and other people we encounter, we find different personalities in them. Personality refers to enduring patterns of thinking and behavior that define the person and distinguish him or her from other people.

                 As a psychology student, I am more interested when it comes to understanding one’s own personality. Sometimes, it is not only the type of personality I discover, but the personality disorders a person may have as well. In the Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), personality disorders fall into three clusters:


      Cluster A includes people who often appear odd or eccentric,

cluster B includes people who often appear dramatic, emotional or erratic,

cluster C includes people who often appear anxious or fearful.

              But, in order to qualify for a personality disorder diagnosis in DSM-IV-TR, a person must fit the general definition of personality disorder (which applies to all 10 subtypes) and must also meet the specific criteria for a particular type of personality disorder.

                     So as early as now, we have to care about our mental health and the way we deal with other               people. We can change our lifestyle in order to have a healthy mind and personality. But then, most               importantly, just be yourself!

Don’t Worry, Be Happy.

   Have you ever experienced worrying too much into something that you can’t help but break down and cry? Be alarmed because you might fall into a category of anxiety disorder. Stressful life events could cause a person to have anxiety. First, we have to know what anxiety is. According to psychologists, anxiety or anxious mood is defined as a general emotional reaction --- beyond simple fear --- that is out of proportion to threats from the environment. There are various forms of anxiety disorders --- including phobias, obsessions, compulsions and extreme worry. This disorder is defined in terms of negative emotional responses. Let us take a look from the various forms of this disorder:

Phobias – persistent, irrational, narrowly defined fears that are associated with a specific object or situation.

Obsessions – are repetitive unwanted intrusive cognitive events that may take the form of thoughts or images or impulse; compulsions are repetitive behaviors or mental acts that are used to reduce anxiety.

Extreme or excessive worry – is thinking of negative thoughts that the person who is suffering from this has less control over the content and direction of their thoughts, and that in comparison to other adults, their worries are less realistic.

                

   By learning about this, we should also be aware of the treatments that could help the person who has anxiety disorder. For example, for the treatment of generalized anxiety disorder, we could use some medications such as benzodiazepines and azapirones, psychological treatment includes cognitive therapy and applied relaxation. But the treatment would not be effective if we do not change our attitude or behavior towards some stressful situations. Have humor and most importantly, PRAY.

Think Positive!

         Did you ever feel of giving up when you’re suffering from challenges? I’m sure you did. As a human being, it is our instinct to react to negative situations in a negative way, it’s natural. But what is unnatural is that we always think of negative things that affect every area of our lives. We can try or find ways to eliminate those negative thoughts and replace it with positive ones. Positive thinkers are those people who can manage the problems arising with an optimistic view. They can cope up with stress and they have a positive view of whatever situations they are facing. There are many benefits of being a positive thinker. We know that it is better to have an optimistic view rather than being a pessimist or preoccupied by negative thoughts. By thinking positively, you can create a healthy mental well-being. There are many strategies that you can use to become a positive thinker. These strategies and tips could help you transform those negative thoughts into positive ones. These tips should be practiced to improve yourself. These are:

·         

      Avoid engaging with negative people

Of course, negative people bring negative vibes. If you are in the company of these people most of the time, you could possibly adapt their behaviors. As much as possible, avoid having contact from those kinds of people.

·         Surround yourself with happy things

Good things come from happy thoughts. As much as possible, stay with the environment that is nice to see and nice to live with. Surround yourself with happy people and happy environment.

·         The power of sense of humor

When you’re down, you might actually wanted to be alone and lie there the whole day. These things could worsen your problems. Try to watch some of your favorite comedy movies or sitcoms and you’ll have good vibes.

·         Count on your family

The best gift we have received from God is our family. When you’re feeling down, you can always count on them to ask for good advices and positive feedbacks. Also, try visiting them when you’re in troubles.

·         Pray

No matter what we are going through, let us stick to the simplest and most effective mode of communication --- prayer. Let us talk to Him always and He’ll never fail us.

Meeting Special People With Special Needs

       Have you ever experienced meeting those people who are so-called “special”? You’ll surely wonder how they run their lives and wonder what they are going through. Special children refers to children with certain conditions not found in the majority of population like those who have autism, down syndrome, deafness, hearing and visual impairment, etc.

              It’s been years since I started studying BS Psychology. My school years have not been that meaningful until I enter a special education program as a practicumer in my school which is a part of our requirements in the said course. At first, I was so afraid and hesitant to work in that field because I know that the behaviors of the children are so unpredictable. But then, I started to love the days of my practicum because of the kids. In my first week, I learned about their names as well as their disabilities. I am handling different children with different disabilities. There are some who has autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Down syndrome, etc. If you are in my situation, you’ll find it hard to handle them but if you do it with all your heart, you’ll surely love to work it out. The good thing about the kids is that no matter what they are going through, they still manage to go to school everyday. If they are in SPED classroom, you can see that they are trying to study despite their disabilities. They enjoy what they doing even if it means small things for us. They smile, laugh, play, dance and talk like every child do. They are very sweet also, that if you are with them for a very long time, you’ll have an attachment with them, they are sweet because every time they wave goodbye, they’ll automatically kiss you on the cheek and hug you tight and say, “Goodbye, see you tomorrow” with a big smile on their face.

              I know it’s priceless to meet somebody like them and be with them always. I will also treasure moments I had with them. They will serve as my inspiration to go through life.